For Seniors

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two
drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on this
cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today." The bartender
says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this
one is on me." 

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like 
to buy you a drink, too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water." 

"Coming up," says the bartender. 

As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to
buy you one, too." 

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with
two drops of water." 

"Coming right up," the bartender says. 

As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity.
Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" 

The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how
to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other
issue." 

"OLD" IS WHEN ... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make
love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!" 

"OLD " IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator
shoes, and you're barefoot. 

"OLD" IS WHEN ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker
opens the garage door. 

"OLD" IS WHEN ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your
face. 

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long
as you don't have to go along. 

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead
of by the police. 

"OLD" IS WHEN ... "Getting a little action" means you don't need to
take any fiber today. 

"OLD" IS WHEN ..."Getting lucky" means you find your car in the
parking lot. 

AND 

"OLD" IS WHEN .. You are not sure these are jokes.